Hello again. Are you after another device, or some information, or would you like to see my goods for sale?3,752
Hello there, I'm busy with my research. Come back in a bit, could you?1,264
Hello there and welcome to my humble abode. It's sadly rather more humble than I'd like, to be honest, although perhaps you can help with that?1,213
Fortunately for you, I've done some research and it seems to suggest that there are two choices open to you.1,112
The first is more interesting. We cut off your arms, have them reanimated as undead, reattach them and then you should be able to cut the trees normally.1,108
Well, in that case, I think it may have something to do with Slayer abilities. After all, I did see Turael poking around the trees while I was moving in.1,105
The orb will pull you in the direction of the key. Be careful with it though, it's a little unstable.1,038
A key piece?1,031
You were thinking that because I made you a metal attracting device before that I'd be able to do it again.1,031
Here you go. You can use this to track down that key of yours.1,031
Should be doable. Will need to be quite different to your device though, much greater distance and a different type of metal. You said it was red right?1,029
Excellent. Now just a few small adjustments and...1,028
Must be Orikalkum, Dragon as you adventuring lot call it. Quite rare, should make things easier. Now let me think about this, if we just... hmmm... yes... perfect!1,027
Go get one cut dragonstone and two molten glass. Use a glassblowing pipe to craft a glass orb with the dragonstone in the centre. Once you have it, bring it to me. Any questions? Good. Bye.1,026
Nothing to get worried about, it might just sting a bit when you use it.1,019
If I could upgrade that device of yours?1,017
Hmmm. Might be possible. The chicken is the weakness at the moment. If you find something with a bit more kick I might be able to upgrade it further.1,015
Yes. Something a bit stronger, a bit more undead.1,013
Yay, I didn't even have to talk about a reward; you're more gullible than most adventurers, that's for sure.1,009
Don't be silly; everyone knows that true warriors don't ever sleep...or perform many other bodily functions, for that matter. I'll come up with something, though.1,004
What I need is simple: a couple of undead chickens. You should be able to pick some up at the farm near Port Phasmatys.1,003
Wow, great, now the arrow manufacturer is ready for use...there you are! Talk to me if you need more information later.971
I hear they lose their clothes a lot to thieves so they have to make do with shoddy goods. Whatever the reason, they seem to carry buttons about in their pockets.970
For all I know, it was pure luck, so don't jump to any conclusions about your mighty intellect.968
Let's get back to the work we're doing, then. Remember, this is all a favour to you; I could have just decided to fob you off with a feather duster.967
They are still stumping me. Here are the notes; I really hope your head doesn't explode from reading them.965
It wouldn't be all bad as your body would be useful for research after death. What I'd be upset about was if bits of you landed in my nice new bed.965
You certainly took your time.963
Quite. Now that we have all the ingredients for infinite arrows, we just need a container in which we can keep the components in the correct mutual alignment.963
My spiritometric devices show that you have been in close contact with ghostly animals. Are we closer to success?954
Amazing! Success! I can look forward to some good nights' sleep after all.954
Well, I need the feathers to make my bed more comfortable. A comfortable bed will help me sleep. Obvious, really.954
Great stuff! With the Witch's influence within the magnet, the undead chicken can use this, I'm sure.953
Well, for a start, undead feathers are much cleaner than living ones; no dust mites or anything. Secondly, I always think of Ernest when I see a chicken, so my nerves can't take killing them.951
Seeing as how you ranger types use so many feathers in your arrows, I was thinking I could harness an undead chicken to make an unending supply of arrow flights for you.951
We need a source of wood, but one which is spiritually active and can regenerate itself. That will save you some axework in the future.950
We'll need a magnet next, one with purely natural fields and made from a carefully selected iron bar. A firm impact when the iron is parallel to Gielinor's field will stabilise this field in the rod.949
Now you know how those poor guards feel when you hide behind mushrooms and fences and attack them from afar! Anyway, I reckon you'll need to try a mithril or better axe on the trees. At least the trees are948
Have you crafted that orb yet?913
Of course, you won't be able to pick your nose any more, so I suppose you'll want to try the second option.808
The plan is that the chicken will operate the magnet to attract bits of iron and steel, maybe even your own recently fired arrows. There are plenty of totally lost arrowheads lying about in the fields of Gielinor, I bet.795
As he's not known for his random touristic activities, you should try chatting with this Turael. He's the Slayer Master near Burthorpe.792
Don't worry, though; I just need you to help fix this vile old bed for me. Then I'll find a suitable reward for you.769
I've gathered together some research notes from various sources but I can't quite make out what they mean. If you want to have a go at making them out, just ask me for a copy.725
I've given you a pattern for the container; you'll need to combine them with some polished buttons and hard leather. Then we're almost done. Good news, eh?718
Try using a woodcutting axe on the pesky trees in the garden here, the ones that attack rather than the really dead ones. They are probably just the sort of thing we could use.700
I'll use one for my bed, then see what I can make from the other in the way of a reward. I have some ideas involving infinite feathers.699
Great, hand it over then.696
pretty close.684
Go and talk to the Witch next door.676
If you are having trouble finding buttons, I've heard rumours that the H.A.M. society carry this sort of stuff more than most.672
In addition, arrows which you fire should be able to be attracted back to your quiver by the cunning avian.640
So, what terrible hitch have you encountered now?384
Well, I've heard that all kinds of dragons and even basilisks can drop mithril axes, if that's why you are delaying. Most of these creatures are silly enough that you can even hide behind something and plink them to382
You are also skilled enough that I'm rewarding you with the upgraded version right away. Congratulations.325
Your short-term memory loss worries me. Combine the pattern with hard leather and some polished buttons, then hand the resulting container to me.270
death in that brave ranger way.254
Hello again. Are you after an upgrade to your device, or a new device, or some information, or would you like to see my goods for sale?232
Go and talk to the Witch next door. She'd talk the hind legs off a donkey but she can select the iron with which it is suitable for the chicken to interact.215
You adventurers are so forgetful. You'll need one cut dragonstone and two molten glass. Use a glassblowing pipe to craft a glass orb with the dragonstone in the centre. When you're done, bring it back here.199
Despite my extensive studies, her years of experience make her better at instinctive magico-mystical interaction. Oh well, at least I'm cleverer, prettier and will have a better bed.175
I'm not sure what you are trying to do; are you sure you aren't slightly deranged?157
I'd like to talk before you hand it over.116
Just a few bits of information before you run away to persecute rock crabs or cows.101
I'm not a nice girl, I'm a respectable scientist researching the interactions between ghosts and the forces of pure science.92
You don't know the half of it - can you believe that he thinks he has proven Goldbach's First Conjecture using an optimised segmented sieve?90
Firstly, your new device won't work if you are wearing certain metallic chest armours.88
I took over the position of assistant to the Professor upstairs, although, to be honest, his methods are somewhat eccentric. Did you hear about that Ernest scandal?81
Do you need a reminder what you are supposed to do? I know you must have shiny beads distracting you, but it is an important job you are doing for me.81
The magnetic attraction required for operation would cause feedback, so the device does not allow such incompatible item equippage.76
Secondly, although the device is calibrated to attract only arrow heads, there is a chance that other magnetically active items will be attracted.74
Here's my shop.68
The arrow recovery function of the devices is slightly different and relies upon a harmonic bond between your arrows and the chicken's magnet. You'll thus only recover arrows which you have fired rather than those67
I'm thrilled for you. What about my magnet?67
I can see now why Fenkenstrain prefers to work with dead folk. It can't be more frustrating than working with you.66
fired by nearby folks.62
...And people say we scientists are absent minded...59
Finally, the device will only work when worn. It automatically deactivates in other circumstances.58
You'll also need to move about if you want to collect arrows since the gathering of long-lost arrowheads can't work otherwise.55
I know you have the notes; I gave them to you, in case you forgot! Furthermore, if I had hints, I'd have translated those notes myself.53
If they existed, they would be like arrows but much, much bigger. Considering the mess you rangers make with small bits of stick, we scientists have decided they don't exist. Now get chicken hunting.52
You need to fetch 2 undead chickens for me to use in my redecoration. It's not rocket science.51
I was worried about what would happen if you were to place it in a bank in its active state, so I've made sure it only works when it's on your back.49
What do you want? A prize? Go and get the wood; it's not as if the trees are wandering about and hard to find.44
So, take the hint and go off and translate them. If it's too hard, you can always go and shoot demons in cages.42
I already made you a locator orb. What else do you need?32
Very well, I suppose I'll just have to resort to the Professor's patented sleeping aid in order to get some rest. It does so bruise my head, though.24
I'm sorry, you need to have more skill in Slayer before I can use your help.21
Thanks! This is great for me, although I'll need another one if you want any sort of reward.19
I'm sorry, you need to have more skill in Ranged before I can use your help.19
Thanks for the help with my bed; see you again.14
I gave you those and have plenty of copies; I need them to be translated.11
You lost it didn't you?11
Well luckily for you I made a spare. Please try to look after this one.11
Thirdly, there is an upgraded version available when your Ranged level is 50 or greater, so visit me when you have had more practice.10
I believe you'll have to talk to the priest who was in peril before you can enter Morytania.10
I'm sorry, you need to have more skill in Woodcutting before I can use your help.9
Thirdly, there is an even more upgraded version available when your Ranged level is 70 or greater, but I need the head of a powerful beast to create it for you.7
Why do you think I want these?6
I'm sorry, you need to have completed the Priest in Peril quest for me to be able to use your help.6
Do I resemble an iron-bar merchant?5
Oh. So what are you doing here?5
You are an odd one. I'll be here if you remember what you wanted.5
Well, the Witch next door has been cooking some rather nice gingerbread, but I don't think that counts as gossip.5
Can you head off and do adventurous stuff, please? I hear the Wilderness is fun this time of year.5
An entirely logical answer; you'll make a scientist yet.4
Stunning. I should have tried to hire some gnomes instead. They may be obsessed with their bellies but they can at least be trusted to deliver unpleasant perishables.4
I'm sorry, you need to have completed the Restless Ghost quest for me to be able to use your help.4
What is this? Whatever it is, I have no use for it.3
No, you'd only drop them. Clear some space first, then we can talk.2
What makes you think I want more twigs?2
Why do you come back with no chickens? I'll be needing another one before I give you your reward! I'm not going to relent, even if you say 'plz plz plz' and claim you were just scammed.1
Are you going to hand it over or do you want to continue to waft it about menacingly?1
On second thought, the way you wave it about makes me fear for my life. Stow it in your bag and talk to me again.1
How is the quest going? I could really do with a good night's sleep, you know.1
A typical adventurer. Your honesty is refreshing but the cause of science can't be delayed by your inane chatting about lobsters in Catherby. Hop to it!1
I'm sorry, you need to have more skill in Crafting before I can use your help.1
I'm afraid it isn't the sort of thing that a chicken would use, even one highly trained by an eminent scientist.1
These chickens think that everything even slightly curved is a worm in rigor mortis, so they swallow it. I might even be able to write an article on the phenomenon.1
What are you doing? Trying to infect me with some vile disease?1