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So, what did he say?1,172
Well, now ye've shoved the Blindweed into the mix, what we need is a bucket of stagnant water.1,126
No problem. Well, now ye have just one more ingredient to grab, and then we can get this 'rum' flowin!1,125
Well, 'tis technically a volcano, but ye get the general idea.1,124
Well, now that ye've got that spirit out of there ye can dump in the final ingredient.1,123
We need the body of a diseased Fever Spider!1,123
Because they have been known te, well, influence people every now and again.1,123
When yer quite done flappin' yer lips, go down into the basement and whack spiders until ye find a fever spider body.1,122
All ye have to do is get past the keen-eyed lookout that's been spottin' my men when I send 'em.1,122
Well, ye shove them in the Pressure Barrel in the attic.1,121
And then ye...1,120
Just a little.1,118
Don't ye worry yerself about it! This happens all the time.1,114
Now ye stand well back and watch the glory of brewin' at its best!1,113
Rabid Jack!1,090
Arr... Those devils gave ye a nasty knock when ye came to aid us.1,086
Yer on Braindeath Island!1,082
I am the notorious alchemist Cap'n Braindeath, and this whole operation be my idea!1,081
Them!1,077
Be they heroic, brave and true?1,074
Arrr... 'Tis lookin' bleak...1,072
Brilliant! The island's location will remain a secret!1,072
Bring 'em here and wake 'em up.1,072
We may make it through this yet...1,072
Well, me and the lads got our heads together and decided that if we can get their Cap'n drunk enough, perhaps they'll stop protestin'.1,067
Well, first of all, we need someone to go out the front and grow us some Blindweed.1,067
Don't ferget yer bucket!1,036
We'll beat them zombies yet! Arr!959
Try givin' it to the Captain, he's in charge. Get him bladdered and the rest will fall!931
It's up the mountain to the north.827
I'll tell ye that it won't be easy!815
To a weak-stomached, knock-kneed landlubber...804
THE Rabid Jack!800
But now yer here we'll run those evil brain-eatin' dogs off the island fer good!795
To put it in terms ye'll understand: the brewin' equipment is possessed.789
Almost as if I aren't changing subjects, well done!785
I'm sure ye've got nothing te worry about!777
Well, to tell the truth, my lads are a little quicker off the mark, so it only happens occasionally.775
Pressurise 'em.771
...before.769
Day and night they seek to break our will with their chantin', and their singin' and their passive resistance!768
Look, we don't have all day, get movin'.765
Snap out of it, lad! Yer in slug-shock!765
Shove it in the hopper, and then we're in business.763
Ye won't have to go far, lad, we have a pool of the stuff here!763
No, lad, that would be a strange thing to have in a brewery!763
Not far at all, lad. Ye've just got to get it from the basement!763
Here. Ye'll need this to catch them.762
No lad, there be not a zombie in sight.762
No, lad, next ye'll need to go outside and catch five loads of Sluglings fer the brew.762
Arr, lad, that it be.762
'Cos, lad they're one of our super-secret ingredients!762
Hold yer horses, lad! While ye was off gallivantin' with yer slimy aquatic playmates, the 'rum' achieved spiritual critical mass.761
Aye lad! Now get outside and feed that stuff to the pirates.759
With those rottin' dogs legless they'll never keep fighting us now, so we've decided to stay here and keep the 'rum' flowin!758
Give the controls a couple of belts with this wrench.756
Just dunk it in the water. I'm sure a clever lad like yerself will have no problem.753
He's been out lookin' fer heroes like yerself to aid us in our peril.751
Egad...I haven't heard that name...750
Oh, and if ye haul up some squiddy-looking things, don't hesitate to shove 'em in the barrel too.748
They add a special, fishy texture to the drink.747
Dunno lad.741
If that happens, we'll slip out the back and set up shop somewhere else.741
Where it lies is a secret, because ye are standin' in the brewery of Cap'n Braindeath, purveyor of the most vitriolic alcoholic beverages in the world!738
One of the lads did a little priestin' on the side before he came here. Get him to bless it and ye'll do fine.737
With my crew of sturdy, upright pirate brewers, we sail the seven seas, distributing cheap 'alcohol' to all and sundry.736
When ye arrived ye took a nasty knock to the head, so ye probably don't remember agreein' to help us out. But I swear to ye that ye did.736
Seems they lost their fightin' spirit after the first few days. Now most of them just protest all the time.732
Are ye alright, lad?728
Arr. Well, lad, that would be Pete, one of my men.728
'Tis one of the ingredients of our 'rum'.728
The lads and I have held them off so far, but 'tis only a matter of time before they sweep through the buildin' and put us all to the sword.725
These be dark times, though, lad. See, a week ago we awoke to find ourselves beseiged.722
Well, fer a price, at any rate.720
Arr, lad! That they are!715
The only problem is that those rottin' fiends have torn up and destroyed all but one of the Blindweed Patches.708
I'll warn ye again that those devils are sat right on top of the patch.704
Try hecklin' 'em from a distance. Those Swabs may talk a good fight, but if ye can put a scare in 'em they'll keep out of yer way!686
Aye they're related! Tis a good job they'll starve if they tried te eat yer brains!682
No lad, we just call them 'Sluglings' 'cos of a long and convoluted story involvin' a metal pipe and three dead seagulls.671
Splendid, lad! Go shove it in the Intake Hopper upstairs.590
Yer not too susceptible to mind control are ye lad?567
Took us a lot of dissolvin' to work that one out.534
Thanks, lad. We'd never have managed without ye!523
Not that I'm criticisin' yer performance, lad.515
Ye'll need to use that bucket of yours. Most stuff can't stand bein' in contact with our 'rum' fer too long.513
Here, lad. I'll give ye the seed you'll need fer growin' the herb. Help yerself to the gardenin' equipment in the basement.501
Ye may want to hop back to the mainland and see a Slayer Master.398
These Fever Spiders carry a nasty disease, and ye'll need a pair of Slayer Gloves on to not catch it!387
I want ye to go pour that bucket into yonder hopper.375
Ye won't have to go far, lass, we have a pool of the stuff here!363
Are ye alright, lass?363
No, lass, that would be a strange thing to have in a brewery!362
No, lass, next ye'll need to go outside and catch five loads of Sluglings fer the brew.362
Arr, lass, that it be.362
No lass, there be not a zombie in sight.361
'Cos, lass they're one of our super-secret ingredients!361
Snap out of it, lass! Yer in slug-shock!360
Arr. Well, lass, that would be Pete, one of my men.358
These be dark times, though, lass. See, a week ago we awoke to find ourselves beseiged.356
Not far at all, lass. Ye've just got to get it from the basement!356
Hold yer horses, lass! While ye was off gallivantin' with yer slimy aquatic playmates, the 'rum' achieved spiritual critical mass.356
Just dunk it in the water. I'm sure a clever lass like yerself will have no problem.354
Arr, lass! That they are!354
Aye lass! Now get outside and feed that stuff to the pirates.352
Dunno lass.345
No lass, we just call them 'Sluglings' 'cos of a long and convoluted story involvin' a metal pipe and three dead seagulls.325
Splendid, lass! Go shove it in the Intake Hopper upstairs.291
I want ye to go clear the Evil Spirit out of the brewin' controls. Use the wrench I gave ye, but get it blessed first.259
What were that?248
Arr! I'd get more work out of a minty flavoured brick!248
Here, ye'll need to use one of these. The rum tends to eat through almost everything else.240
Not that I'm criticisin' yer performance, lass.235
Yer not too susceptible to mind control are ye lass?226
Thanks, lass. We'd never have managed without ye!218
They'll give it to ye if ye aren't wearin' somethin' too thick fer them to bite through.214
Take yer time, lad, we're only bein' beseiged by zombies.212
Here, lass. I'll give ye the seed you'll need fer growin' the herb. Help yerself to the gardenin' equipment in the basement.207
If ye lose this one I'll have ye turned inside out, covered with spiders and turned rightside in so they'll eat ye alive!195
Splendid, lad! Go shove it in the intake hopper.170
Ye'll be wanting to put them Slayer Gloves of yours on before ye head off lad, as those Fever Spiders carry a nasty disease.157
I see yer already wearin' some Slayer Gloves. That'll keep the Fever Spiders from gnawin' yer hands off!140
I want ye to go pour yer bucket into yonder hopper.132
Take yer time, lad, we're only bein' besieged by zombies.80
Take yer time, lass, we're only bein' beseiged by zombies.77
Splendid, lass! Go shove it in the intake hopper.71
The Cap'n!71
Well, get a move on!61
I want ye to go put yer Blindweed in the intake hopper, and to be sharp about it!59
I want ye to go kill a Fever Spider and jam its body in the hopper.58
Ye'll be wanting to put them Slayer Gloves of yours on before ye head off lass, as those Fever Spiders carry a nasty disease.58
Fancy some 'rum', lad? It's still fresh. Well, fresh-ish...55
Arr, well I want ye to get outside and grow some Blindweed.40
'Rum', lad!38
The finest, most potent, most flammable and most debilitatin' 'rum' in the whole of Gielinor!37
Well, see, it's like this.36
If we called the stuff we make 'rum' without makin' the little quote gestures every time, then the Cookin' Guild has promised to do entertaininly painful things to us with whisks.32
Whenever yer ready, lad.30
I want ye to jam that body into the hopper and come see me.30
Best be careful, lad, fer them pirates will skin ye alive if they catch ye.28
And by that I mean technically according to the Disposal of Hazardous Waste Act and the Health and Safety Laws -27
Want a drop?27
technically, what we're brewin' here is Artificially Produced Hyper Condensed Sweetened 'Rum' Flavour Distillate.25
However, 'tis also true that I stumbled across the basic recipe fer my most potent of brews in a terrible alchemical accident.25
Arr! That be what I told them!25
I want ye to go outside and catch five sea creatures from the squid fishin' spot.25
No, lad, 'rum'!24
See, technically -24
Take yer time, lass, we're only bein' besieged by zombies.24
Steppin' too close to a candle with my flask in my hand, I was suddenly swept up in a terrible, yet potently alcoholic, explosion.23
When ye've grabbed them, jam 'em in the barrel in the attic and pressurise 'em.23
Arr! Yer not as slow as I took ye fer!22
I don't remember the exact words the healers used, but apparently the stuff burned out the tiny, specialised part of me brain that tells me not to talk like a pirate.22
And don't ferget the 'rum'!22
So ye see, lad, we just call it 'rum' because the real name be a bit of a mouthful.21
Fancy some 'rum', lass? It's still fresh. Well, fresh-ish...21
See, 'twas a dark and stormy night, and the wind was howlin' around the trees as I worked late into the night.19
Arr, lad, 'tis true.18
Well' lad, it seems the fumes from that first batch of me 'rum' did strange things to me brain.16
Ye just can't get good help these days...16
To get off yer lazy behind and head out to the stagnant lake on top of the volcano.15
'Rum', lass!15
Gimme that!14
What happened is ye were messin' about with Sluglings!14
Whenever yer ready, lass.14
What are ye doin', lad? I want ye to shove that in the hopper, not in me face!14
Arr, lass, 'tis true.13
No, lass, 'rum'!13
Don't ye have anything better to do?11
Well' lass, it seems the fumes from that first batch of me 'rum' did strange things to me brain.11
So ye see, lass, we just call it 'rum' because the real name be a bit of a mouthful.11
Chop chop, lad.9
Best be careful, lass, fer them pirates will skin ye alive if they catch ye.8
Then I'll have ye flogged, hung, slapped with a haddock and sent back out there to fight the zombie hordes with little more than harsh language!8
Arr... Here, lad. Just take this and get goin'!8
Ye can help yerself to the gardenin' equipment in the basement, just be quick about it!7
Wouldn't want them pirates to trample all over 'em, would ye?6
Ye'll be needin' to use a fishbowl in a big net to snare these little devils.6
Chop chop, lass.5
Ye'll need ter keep an eye on yer plants, lad.5
Finally, lass! Here, take this seed and grow us some Blindweed.5
I see ye've got the wrench good and blessed, so go whack the controls till the Evil Spirit pops out.5
Why, I oughta...4
What are ye doin', lass? I want ye to shove that in the hopper, not in me face!4
Gah! Get that slimy thing away from me!3
Ye'll be needin' a fishbowl in a big net to help ye catch them slimy little blighters.3
Pity ye ain't got any free space to carry one.3
Ye'll need ter keep an eye on yer plants, lass.2
Well, I have some Blindweed seeds fer ye. When ye have some free space fer them, come and talk to me.2
Finally, lad! Here, take this seed and grow us some Blindweed.2
I see ye've got the wrench good and blessed, so go whack the hopper 'til the Evil Spirit pops out.1
There there, lad. 'Tis all right.1
Here, I've been savin' some fer an emergency.1
Go shove that in the Intake Hopper, and try not ter lose this lot!1
Gah!1
Yer nothin' better than a sea-slug wearin', lilly-legged, bandy-livered landlubber!1
Here, I was savin' a little fer an emergency, so take this and shove it in the hopper before I bung ye in there and turn the handle!1
Less talk, lad, haven't ye got a hopper to be fillin'?1
Well, lad, if ye wrap that fishbowl yer carryin' in a big net then ye'll have a fishbowl in a big net, won't ye?1
Come see me when yer not so laden down. I've got another one fer ye if ye need it.1
Here! Try not ter lose this one! These things don't grow on trees, ye know.1
Yer lucky all my precious fish died last week, lad. Take this and wrap it in that net, then go grab some Sluglings!1