Blooming, thieving, weirdo cultists! Why don't they leave me alone? String 'em all up, that's what I say!1,165
It's those blooming cultists from the forest! Those freaks keep breaking into my house!1,109
They first broke in months ago and stole a suit of armour. The strange thing is that they've broken in four times since but taken nothing.1,105
Why, I am Sir Ceril Carnillean! We really are quite a famous bloodline... who've played a vital role in the politics of Ardougne for many generations.1,104
That's very noble of you sirrah! I caught a glimpse of the thieves leaving but due to... uh.. yeah, my cold I was unable to give chase.1,083
My old butler, Higson, once followed them to their hideout there. Unfortunately the next night he died in his sleep.1,083
No, it's ok. A replacement arrived the next day. He's been great - cooks an excellent broth!1,081
Well done! I must say I am very impressed! Come on, hand it over.988
They're some kind of crazy cult who dress all in black, and hang out near the cave entrance in the forest south of here.801
Before we send you on your way with your payment, I'll just get Jones to whip you up a batch of his special broth.782
Perhaps you would be able to assist me in returning the stolen armour? For a modest cash reward of course!767
Now take it and leave you scoundrel! And don't darken my doorstep again!641
W-what? RIGHT! You! We're going to blooming well sort this out right now once and for all!640
Take him away. Attempted murder and burglary.639
Wh-what??? I've seen this amulet before... The thieves that broke in... One of them was wearing an identical amulet! Jones! I don't believe it!638
But if it weren't for you... My whole family... we could have been... I apologise for my harshness before.638
No, no, thank YOU! Feel free to stop by anytime adventurer!638
What do you want now you scoundrel?637
I... I don't believe it! Poison! JONES!637
JONES! Just WHAT is this POISON doing here???458
Right. I have decided. I have given my word as a nobleman to reward you for your efforts in retrieving my armour.446
the very least I can do is to reward you for your noble efforts, and to offer my sincerest apologies as a Lord and gentleman.445
Rats eh? Yes, fair enough. Sorry to have doubted you old boy.443
Jones! We trusted you! We took you into our home!441
Jones! This commoner says you had something to do with the theft of my armour. What do you have to say for yourself about that?438
It looks like I am indebted to you sirrah!433
To think we took you in and trusted you... and this is how you repay us...431
Humph. Quite right too. I cannot fathom why this scoundrel would accuse you of such a crime without evidence to back up his accusations.421
but I must also compensate Jones for this terrible slander you have made against him.412
W-what? RIGHT! You! Come with me upstairs! We're going to blooming well sort this out right now once and for all!332
Oh.. the inhumanity... the cruelty.. the misery... the pain... my son is a good boy, really, but how could he give his dinner to Scruffy without having the servants test it for poison first? How? How could he be so274
He's been with our family for twenty years... that's 140 in dog years! The poor dog... what did HE ever do to deserve such a fate???270
I agree! I hope whichever evildoer is responsible gets the full weight of the law brought upon them!268
thoughtless and careless? He knows we are all under threat!226
I owe you nothing you scoundrel! Now get out or I'll have Jones throw you out!48
And who are YOU to judge ME? Hmmm. You look like a peasant anyway. I'm wasting my time talking to you.32
Have you had any luck yet?24
That's SIR Ceril to you, you impudent scamp. Show a bit of respect to your betters. And shouldn't you be recovering my armour?20
Yes, I doubt you could help anyway.19
That's SIR Ceril you blooming scoundrel! Show respect when addressing someone of my rank! It's strange you haven't recovered it yet though as Jones seemed quite sure of their location.19
Well hello again adventurer! It's good to see you again! If it wasn't for your quick thinking the treacherous Jones would have poisoned my family and me by now! We are in your debt.18
Oooooh... I may be wrong... but ever since I asked for your help things around here have gone from bad to worse...14
I think you'd better keep out of my way. And for the LAST time: it's SIR Ceril. SIR! It's not that hard to blooming remember!14
Oh cruel world! Scruffy... I knew you well... I... just... don't think I can... go on without...13
No wonder I'm the one with the big house, and you're the one on the streets.12
SIR Ceril! SIR! And I'm not sure but I think the thieves have been back in my house.7
Well, either I'm going crazy, or theres been an intruder in Jones' room upstairs!7
Now take it and leave you scoundrel! And don't darken my door step again!2
SIR Ceril to you. But good work there! BLOOMING good work! Hand over the armour then.1
Hazeel? Uh... umm... err.. hmmmm.1
Nope, they're obviously a bunch of blooming loonies! Go find them and bring me back my blooming armour! Nobody steals from Sir Ceril Carnillean!!!1
I'm fine. Where's my armour?1
Well what are you waiting for? I'm not paying you to blooming sight see you know!1