messagecount
Anything else I can do for you?3,709
Your loss!1,816
We'll just make a scarecrow. We'll need logs, and 10 sheaves of wheat for stuffing.1,383
Oh, it's you. Have you talked to the troll cook yet?1,321
That's easy, we'll just stuff it with a few chickens. Everything tastes like chicken! Five raw chickens should be enough.1,315
That's what the parrot's for, of course.1,290
Well, we'll need to dress it up anyway; if we use dirty clothes it'll smell human to the trolls.1,284
You'll have to dry it in a fire, then grind it and mix it into a potion with Ranarr weed.1,281
Oh, it's you. Have you got me a parrot yet?1,249
That's everything!1,146
No, of course not. We need to make sure he'll tell you what you need to know.1,145
I happen to know that the trolls are susceptible to a certain kind of plant that grows around this mountain. I call it Troll Thistle. If properly prepared, it can be made into a sort of Troll truth potion.1,145
Excellent, thank you. Now just go fetch that poor parrot back, it's probably had enough by now.1,143
Sanfew, you say? Ah, haven't seen him in a while...1,139
Good work. How about those other items?1,139
Hand it here...there we go! Can you tell this isn't a bona fide human being? I sure can't!1,137
Would you care to sample our delicious home cooking?1,135
Yes! It's bound to work. First of all, I will need a parrot!1,134
At the zoo, where else?1,134
Oh dear, that's no good. You can't just go hand over a human to those trolls...1,133
Yes, yes, of course. It's quite ingenious really!1,124
Thanks! I'm off back home!1,115
I'm a man of few clothes myself, so you might want to ask old Sanfew about that one.950
You should hide it for a while somewhere it can pick up some more appropriate catchphrases.926
Good, good, everything is almost finished.887
Goutweed is used as an ingredient in troll cooking. You should ask one of their cooks.871
What we need is something that looks like a human, sounds like a human, smells like a human and tastes like a human.854
Aha! I have a plan!848
That's the plan. Anything else I can do for you?831
Of course, we can't just give him the dummy and expect to get anything useful out of him.827
Although the trolls might get suspicious if it doesn't say what they expect a human to say...809
I told you, put it somewhere it'll learn to say the sort of thing the trolls will expect it to say.673
Well, I suppose I do keep getting captured by the trolls and thrown in prison...But they always release me in the end, I'm far too old and skinny for their tastes.577
This is likely to be screaming. There's bound to be a good spot somewhere in the troll prison.564
In any case, this is my home, and I'm not leaving it. And this area has the tastiest goats!439
The chef's recommendation for today is mountain goat stew. I'll give some stew in exchange for logs for my fire. They're hard to come by around here.433
How are you getting on?352
Welcome to Mad Eadgar's! Serving all day, every day!346
Welcome to Mad Eadgar's! Happiness in a bowl!336
Welcome to Mad Eadgar's! We don't serve trolls!320
Welcome to Mad Eadgar's! You'll never want to leave!314
You now need no logs, no chickens, no grain and the dirty clothes.250
Well, you should do that then.189
Troll Thistle grows around this mountain. If properly prepared, it can be made into a sort of Troll truth potion.154
Did you get that parrot back?134
Well, go see if the zoo have one.113
Well? Did the plan work?107
Glad to hear it!104
Here you go! Enjoy!100
Hurry up then.91
Have you given the fake man to the troll cook yet?70
Don't worry about me, boy, I'll be out in a jiffy. Talk to me at my home.70
You don't have any logs! I may be mad, but I'm not stupid!63
Go on then, give it to the cook!58
It's in Ardougne, south west of here.53
You now need the logs, no chickens, no grain and no dirty clothes.31
Don't worry about me, girl, I'll be out in a jiffy. Talk to me at my home.28
I'm fine! Just dandy! A bit cold, I keep asking them to install a fireplace but they don't listen.18
It's on the guard's belt, silly. Free me and I can cook you something good!10
You now need no logs, five chickens, no grain and no dirty clothes.10
You now need no logs, five chickens, no grain and the dirty clothes.8
You now need no logs, no chickens, one bundle of grain and no dirty clothes.8
You now need no logs, no chickens, ten bundles of grain and the dirty clothes.7
You now need no logs, five chickens, ten bundles of grain and the dirty clothes.6
Well done, well done. Now let me out! That rock is looking at me funny.6
You now need no logs, two chickens, no grain and the dirty clothes.5
You now need no logs, one chicken, no grain and no dirty clothes.5
Oh, it's you. You didn't lose your parrot did you? One flew over here and I managed to capture it.3
That's what I thought. Have it back.3
You now need no logs, two chickens, no grain and no dirty clothes.3
You bumbling imbecile!3
Never mind, here's one I prepared earlier.3
You now need no logs, no chickens, ten bundles of grain and no dirty clothes.2
You now need the logs, no chickens, one bundle of grain and no dirty clothes.2
You now need no logs, no chickens, three bundles of grain and the dirty clothes.1
You now need the logs, no chickens, ten bundles of grain and no dirty clothes.1
You now need no logs, no chickens, five bundles of grain and no dirty clothes.1
You now need the logs, five chickens, ten bundles of grain and the dirty clothes.1
You now need no logs, five chickens, six bundles of grain and the dirty clothes.1
You now need the logs, no chickens, no grain and the dirty clothes.1