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Oi was in the old 'aunted Forest to the south, diggin' a pit for moi old maaster, old Fenkenstrain, when would you believe it, someone chops me head off. Awful bad luck, weren't it?1,183
So oi thinks to meself, I don't needs any 'ead to be gettin on with me gardenin', long as I got me hands and me spade. 1,178
Well, oi s'pose oi've got 10 minutes to spare.1,119
Got it right 'ere in my pocket. Here you go.1,038
Me name? It's been a moivellous long while, mate, since I had any use for such a thing as a name.163
No, no, I can't be havin' that - I'll remember in a minute-163
Lestwit, that's it! Ed Lestwit!161
A conductive mould, you say? Let me see-139
E's dead, just like everyone else round 'ere ... 'cept for me.136
There used to be a bloke 'ere, sort of an 'andyman e was. Did everything round the place - fixed what was broke, swept the chimneys and the like. He would 'ave had a mould, I imagine.135
Oi could tell you a few things about old Fenky, yeah.125
Once, this castle were full o' good folk - my friends. Fenky was just the castle doctor you know, to the Lord and the castle folk.122
Before oi kicked the bucket, you mean?114
Don't worry yourself, I'm not worried about bein' dead. Worse things could happen, I suppose.113
I don't know what happened to them all, but one by one they all disappeared. When they were gone a while, I went an dug graves for 'em, in the forest.107
Old Fenky sent me into the Forest to dig 'im a pit. Never said what for. Then would you believe it, someone chops me head off.103
After a while there weren't no-one left, but the Lord, Fenkenstrain, and meself.98
One thing I do know is, there ain't no Lord of the castle anymore, 'cept for old Fenky. Makes you think a bit, don't it?96
No mate, you've found my head already, oi think.26
Same as ever, mate, just gettin' on with it regardless.13
Oim the 'eadless gardener, mate.9