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Huzzah!56
Hurumph.39
Nacklepen, tortoise trainer extraordinaire.37
Do you know any other tortoise trainers?36
Well there you go then.36
Tortoises are naturally pacifistic animals that eat nothing but cabbages. I am required to beat those peaceful tendencies out of the softies and turn them into hardened battle-trained killers.24
Firstly I acclimatise them to excessive aural stimulation and simple physical confrontation.24
Of course. Then I re-educate them to become comfortable with riders and military combat situations.23
If you like.23
This is War! Fairness is a luxury of the weak.22
We breed them. The originals were found by gnome explorers back in King Healthorg the Great's rule. On their discovery King Healthorg authorised a small party to go there and transport a breeding pair back here. He22
kept one for himself to ride into battle.22
Trouble is they take a lot of skill and time to breed, so we're only just getting them battle ready.20
Isn't it obvious? Surely even to your untrained eye that giant tortoises are the perfect mobile armoured field unit?17
They are sturdy animals, and well protected by their shell. They can even swim! All we need to do is put a bit of fire in their bellies.17
Hurumph. Don't ask me. I didn't put it there. I keep trying to get my tortoises to stomp on it, but it keeps running away.4
Will these creatures make useful foot soldiers in the gnome Army? I think not.4
How would I know! I've got tortoises to train - you have wasted enough of my time with trivialities, Goodbye.4